care to join me in a 3-way?

many question why i chose to leave california and attend college in cincinnati, ohio. i wanted to experience something new, something completely different from my flip flop-clad existence in piedmont. miami u. in oxford, ohio did the trick - i was introduced to new kids, new political ideologies, and new foods to drunk eat.

i recall in a frustrated, homesick moment immediately following september 11th i hated everything about ohio. the kids are insensitive racist fucktards! it's too goddamn cold here! they eat their spaghetti with effing chili on it.

skyline chili was a staple in the diets of cincinnatians. i just didn't get it. i stayed far, far away from it for as long as possible, until my sophomore year roommate made me try it. upon ordering my first 3-way the clouds parted, a choir of angels appeared and did a quick rendition of the hallelujah chorus. i finally got it. not everyone was a homophobic hick. if i wore a jacket and socks, it wasn't really that cold. and this chili spaghetti nonsense wasn't nonsense at all - it was glorious. the chili had a sweetness to it (i've been told the secret ingredient is chocolate) and was more like a sauce than a chunky stew. the layers of finely shredded cheddar added sharpness while the spaghetti noodles soaked in the flavor. i also soon found that nothing cured a hangover like skyline's cheesy, oozy goodness - hence the reason their oxford location stayed open until 3am thursday through saturday.

tomorrow i'll be taking the 6am (god help me) flight out of SFO to Cincinnati for a long overdue reunion with my amazing sorority sisters. i can't wait to catch up on their masters programs, husbands, new jobs and new homes over a giant plate of skyline chili, spaghetti and cheese, complete with oyster crackers and hot sauce. that is, after i've already made a pit-stop at the location closest to the airport.

why bad just tastes so good

do you ever get a hankering for chinese? sure, we all do. but i mean a real craving, one that seems to bubble up from the pits of your stomach only to overflow into your consciousness - a craving that won't cease until it's satiated by sodium-laced egg noodles?

well, i had one of those last night. it was imperative that i wash my car and deposit some checks after work. but the little white folding box fairy paid me a visit during my commute, and all my errands flew out the window. i was elated by the thought of sitting cross-legged on my couch in pajamas with a plate filled with chow mein and kung pao and watching the polar express. and don't forget the piping-hot bowl of hot and sour soup on the side...

since moving to the jack london square area not too long ago, i have yet to explore the takeout possibilities that await me in nearby chinatown. my hesitation stems not from laziness, but rather from fear. while i pride myself on being mostly adventurous in the culinary world, the authenticity of the dishes served at the establishments in oakland's chinatown district is a bit much for your average white girl-seeking-moo shu.

the americanization of chinese cuisine truly upsets some. search "chinese" near "94607" on yelp and you'll be faced with a flurry of reviews by local hipsters who are disgusted by the absence of culture in potstickers and crab rangoon. "it's so greasy!" exclaims one. "it was decent, i wouldn't call it authentic" writes another. "i'm looking for an upscale chinese restaurant. any ideas?" but what's missing from these yelp rants is the simple idea that this kind of chinese food tastes good. really good. as hard as it is to admit, there are people out there, even east bay foodies, who enjoy nothing more than an eggroll smothered in flourescent red dipping sauce.

i like a hot and sour soup whose contents are unrecognizable to me.

i like chicken chow mein with a noodle-to-vegetable ratio of about 56:1. and i like to drown it in soy sauce. and eat it cold the next day.

i know. but i'm a foodie!

before you completely discredit me, please know that i realize food from places like panda express is truly inedible. but that's mainly due to the fact that their pork nuggets and bok choy sit in steam trays for days on end, which cause them to harden and crystalize. and i do believe more upscale places, like berkeley's shen hua, do have a certain panache that is hard to resist.

sure, call me crazy. take away my "foodie card." but nothing is quite as satisfying as chinese food from a restaurant that gives you a free hanging wall calendar with your take out order.

note: some reviews state that shen hua falls under the category of "gross americanized chinese food." those yelpers - so picky!

piccin-ohhh

i particularly enjoy dining experiences wherein there is an unparalleled attention to detail, flavor, presentation, and atmosphere, and said experience can occur during your lunch hour and cost $15.

piccino quietly pranced into our neighborhood (dogpatch) about eight months ago and garnered critical acclaim almost instantly. the word on the street is that it's the best pizza in sf. i'm not one to judge, as i frequent east bay pizzerias more...frequently. but i do know one thing, the pizza is damn good. beautiful artisan dough makes for a crispy yet satisfying crust.

for me, they do panini like no other. open-faced, seasonal toppings. nutty, chewy baguette. the brie-roma tomato-eggplant-mint pesto creation was a religious experience. what joy. it makes coming back to the office at 1 o'clock far more bearable.

i'm just about to run out the door to try out the new pedicure place next door. upon my return, i'll have piccino's marscapone and dried fig panini in hand.

i have no self control.

i have been off plan since friday. completely, utterly, tragically off plan (fyi, "off plan" in the world of weight watchers is another way of saying "i've been binge eating the fuck out of anything i can get my hands on and pretty much don't care"). it all started with my mother's visit from chicago. the woman loves cheese. brings it with her wherever she goes. so that's one reason right there. if there's a brick of cheese sitting on my countertop, it won't be resisted.

we also had a fine meal at one of my favorite small plate restaurants, cesar. two killer mojitos, their own olive-oil packed spicy tuna with egg bocadillo, smoked trout and endive, killer patatas bravas with aioli and spicy tomato sauce, and paella with chorizo. this meat-laden venture cost me a whole weekend of digestive wellbeing.

as a result of my intestinal malady, we stayed in the rest of the time. and because i didn't feel well, i took that as an excuse to eat whatever sounded good. eduardo's spinach fettucini with a good two tablespoons of strauss family organic european style salted butter, salt, pepper and romano cheese. now that's what i call comfort food. probably ran me a good 20-30 points.

as if that wasn't bad enough, we rounded out the visit with colonial donuts and a croissant sandwich on sunday morning. oh, and zachary's that evening. shit. damnit.

so with that disaster behind me, i was going to clean up my act and soldier on. 23 points per day. no more, no less.

right. i had a box of macaroni last night, followed by two handfuls of leftover halloween candy and popcorn. i'm a failure.