why bad just tastes so good

do you ever get a hankering for chinese? sure, we all do. but i mean a real craving, one that seems to bubble up from the pits of your stomach only to overflow into your consciousness - a craving that won't cease until it's satiated by sodium-laced egg noodles?

well, i had one of those last night. it was imperative that i wash my car and deposit some checks after work. but the little white folding box fairy paid me a visit during my commute, and all my errands flew out the window. i was elated by the thought of sitting cross-legged on my couch in pajamas with a plate filled with chow mein and kung pao and watching the polar express. and don't forget the piping-hot bowl of hot and sour soup on the side...

since moving to the jack london square area not too long ago, i have yet to explore the takeout possibilities that await me in nearby chinatown. my hesitation stems not from laziness, but rather from fear. while i pride myself on being mostly adventurous in the culinary world, the authenticity of the dishes served at the establishments in oakland's chinatown district is a bit much for your average white girl-seeking-moo shu.

the americanization of chinese cuisine truly upsets some. search "chinese" near "94607" on yelp and you'll be faced with a flurry of reviews by local hipsters who are disgusted by the absence of culture in potstickers and crab rangoon. "it's so greasy!" exclaims one. "it was decent, i wouldn't call it authentic" writes another. "i'm looking for an upscale chinese restaurant. any ideas?" but what's missing from these yelp rants is the simple idea that this kind of chinese food tastes good. really good. as hard as it is to admit, there are people out there, even east bay foodies, who enjoy nothing more than an eggroll smothered in flourescent red dipping sauce.

i like a hot and sour soup whose contents are unrecognizable to me.

i like chicken chow mein with a noodle-to-vegetable ratio of about 56:1. and i like to drown it in soy sauce. and eat it cold the next day.

i know. but i'm a foodie!

before you completely discredit me, please know that i realize food from places like panda express is truly inedible. but that's mainly due to the fact that their pork nuggets and bok choy sit in steam trays for days on end, which cause them to harden and crystalize. and i do believe more upscale places, like berkeley's shen hua, do have a certain panache that is hard to resist.

sure, call me crazy. take away my "foodie card." but nothing is quite as satisfying as chinese food from a restaurant that gives you a free hanging wall calendar with your take out order.

note: some reviews state that shen hua falls under the category of "gross americanized chinese food." those yelpers - so picky!

whole wheat mini pizzas

a great cooking blog called cooking with amy (see link on the right) featured a recipe today that has weight watchers written all over it. she (amy) also gives you plenty of wiggle room to make it as points-friendly as possible, if that's what you're going for.

whole wheat mini-pizzas
serves 2

2 whole wheat tortillas
1/2 cup grated cheese (whatever you like that melts)
1/4 cup vegetables such as olives, tomatoes, onions, mushrooms or a combination
2 tablespoons meat (crumbled sausage, bacon, cooked chicken, etc.) optional

preheat oven to 400 degrees. cut 4 rounds from each tortilla. Place them on a lightly greased baking sheet and bake for 5 minutes or until slightly crisp. top each round with cheese, a sprinkling of vegetables and meat if desired. return to the oven until cheese has melted, about 3 - 4 minutes.


here's a little something i came up with using my e-tools recipe builder, which i just discovered not too long ago.

use the quantities listed above of:

soft goat cheese
chantrelle mushrooms
crumbled crisp bacon

should turn out to be 6 points per serving.

foods i would eat right now, right this very instant, if i wasn't on weight watchers

williams-sonoma peppermint bark. baked rigatoni. chicken salad. admiral's feast at red lobster. cookie dough. roasted goose with oyster dressing. hot schnocolate. pillsbury crescent rolls. tuna salad. cherry pie. chex mix. macaroni and bleu cheese with bacon. fettucini with lobster alfredo. four cheese ravioli. petit filet with bleu cheese, rare/medium rare and a side of creamed spinach from ruth's chris. crab-stuffed mushrooms from ruth's chris. mother's frosted pink and white circus animal cookies. taco salad. salami. seinkanter and membrillo. chimay. pommes frites and wasabi aioli. in-n-out strawberry milkshake. mozzerella sticks. a cheese sandwich. english toffee. cupcakes. fried chicken. great steak's buffalo chicken sandwich. donut holes. egg mcmuffin.

reason #879 why alice waters is my hero.

my wonderful bleeding heart mother is on a mission. at her public elementary school in woodstock, illinois, 30% of her students live in poverty. a staggering portion of her students partake in the schools' breakfast program, too - upon arrival at school at 7:30am (holy christ), the kidlets are fed "breakfast" before class. come noontime, they're fed "lunch."

these "meals" consist primarily of bottled water, soda, steaming hot piles of factory farmed beef and chicken, and morning buns sprayed with "vitamins" (the "bunny ears" are out of control right now, my apologies) so that the kiddies get their proper "nutrients" (last time i promise).

sad part is, these meals, in many cases, are the only times these children are fed in a day. if they are fed dinner, it's usually a bag of chips or mcdonald's.

so mom and her kick-ass teacher friend mary are determined to turn this around. both devotees of the slow food movement, they are attempting to implement a school meal program that involves healthy, natural choices - local and seasonal, if possible - in order to get these kids on the right track for the rest of their little lives. we (snobby foodies) all know that fresh, organic, locally-grown meats and produce are at the heart of a healthy ecosystem, and ultimately, a healthy self.

i told mom i'd back her cause 100%. in the bay area, the slow food revolution seems to have permeated dinner tables and public school lunch rooms alike. i had read that my old elementary school is testing out a lunch program with children's choice, a local outsourced meal program that provides seasonal greens and humanely raised meats in compostable trays. after forwarding that link, i came upon this little gem:

the edible schoolyard. courtesy of my personal savior, saint alice waters.

this ingenious concept was implemented at berkeley's mlk, jr. middle school in the mid-nineties. mid-nineties! that alice is sure ahead of the crowd, isn't she?

not only are the kids eating local, organic produce...they're growing it. right on their playground. you can't get much more local than that.

please take a moment to look at their website. so, so inspiring.

in alice's name we pray; au gratin.

let's see, new tools to slice and dice with, or not pay my rent or any bills for a month and a half...

i am in love. i am in love with a set of knives. seven knives. seven beautiful, sharp knives.

discovered these puppies at williams-sonoma yesterday. in a glass jewelry case. ha!

michel bras

they'll run you about $2k. i might just buy the 4-inch paring knife for $250 and wear it around my neck as a pendant.

whole paycheck

i went to the new whole foods in downtown oakland last night for the first time. wow. it's truly spectacular. the circular layout is ideal for browsing the store in its entirety and discovering things to spend money on that you really don't need. i know people hate whole foods because it's elitist and pretentuous. i know people despise whole foods because it is insanely overpriced. take for instance last night's purchases. paper towels, one shallot, one package of green beans (slightly brown and dry, and from mexico to boot...the california ones were moldy...wtf people), a small "to-go" container of mixed berries (1 pint) and an even smaller container of scharffenberger pudding (1/2 pint). twenty bucks. jason (my man) and i were going to get a tuna steak so we could try out a recipe for tuna burgers, but it would have cost us $22. for one steak. needless to say we changed our minds.

despite the high cost of being a part of the elite green grocer club, i'm still a card-carrying member. that place is amazing. and close!

my lone shallot and mexican haricots verts were the final ingredients necessary to complete the meal i've prepared for this evening. last night i marinated a 1-lb. london broil (niman ranch, from trader joes - cheap, local, sustainable, damn good) in a ziplock bag with:

3 tbsp. soy sauce
1 medium (overpriced) shallot, minced
4 cloves garlic, pressed
2 tbsp. red wine vinegar
1/2 tsp. dried tarragon
1 tsp. dried oregano

it's getting all yummy and juicy in the fridge as we speak. tonight i will broil it (at some temperature that eludes me now) and pair it with garlicky (mexican, dry, brown, expensive) haricots verts. this is an easy side dish and i think is only a point or two...

steam 1 lb haricots verts in a steamer basket over 1 inch of boiling water for 3-4 minutes, until crisp-tender
toss with olive oil and pressed garlic, pepper to taste.

i really like the words haricots verts.

itty bitty thanksgiving

this thanksgiving the only individuals sitting around the dinner table will be myself, my father and my stepmother. maybe my uncle. i haven't a clue what's going on. however if this was my meal to prepare (maybe it is?! no one's told me anything!) i would opt for this clever, seemingly scrumptuous preparation for the holiday.

citrus-scented cornish game hens with spiced acorn squash courtesy of whole foods

serves four - pair with a simple pilaf, they say.

cornish game hens
2 cornish game hens
salt and pepper
1 tablespoon butter, softened
1 teaspoon brown sugar
2 tablespoons lemon zest
2 tablespoons orange zest
1 orange
2 tablespoons chopped shallots
4 sprigs of rosemary


acorn squash
2 acorn squashes
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 teaspoons allspice
4 scallions, halved
salt and pepper

preheat the oven to 400° F. season the hens with salt and pepper and rub with butter, sugar, lemon and orange zest. halve the orange. juice one half and slice the other. stuff each bird with orange juice and orange slices, shallots and rosemary.

heat a large pan over medium heat. brown the game hens on all sides, 6 to 10 minutes.

meanwhile, prepare the acorn squashes by quartering them and removing the seeds. place them in a roasting pan and dot with butter, drizzle with syrup and sprinkle with allspice. place the hens breast side up in the same roasting pan and roast until browned and cooked through, about an hour.

remove game hens and let rest for juices to redistribute. continue cooking the acorn squash 10 to 15 minutes longer, until tender. serve immediately.

the beauty of it all is that they include nutrition info. get your trackers ready...one serving is 6 points (about 11 oz., not including your pilaf dish).

instead of the chocolate croissant...

i opted for lowfat peach yogurt and a banana. sigh. yawn.

piccin-ohhh

i particularly enjoy dining experiences wherein there is an unparalleled attention to detail, flavor, presentation, and atmosphere, and said experience can occur during your lunch hour and cost $15.

piccino quietly pranced into our neighborhood (dogpatch) about eight months ago and garnered critical acclaim almost instantly. the word on the street is that it's the best pizza in sf. i'm not one to judge, as i frequent east bay pizzerias more...frequently. but i do know one thing, the pizza is damn good. beautiful artisan dough makes for a crispy yet satisfying crust.

for me, they do panini like no other. open-faced, seasonal toppings. nutty, chewy baguette. the brie-roma tomato-eggplant-mint pesto creation was a religious experience. what joy. it makes coming back to the office at 1 o'clock far more bearable.

i'm just about to run out the door to try out the new pedicure place next door. upon my return, i'll have piccino's marscapone and dried fig panini in hand.

i have no self control.

i have been off plan since friday. completely, utterly, tragically off plan (fyi, "off plan" in the world of weight watchers is another way of saying "i've been binge eating the fuck out of anything i can get my hands on and pretty much don't care"). it all started with my mother's visit from chicago. the woman loves cheese. brings it with her wherever she goes. so that's one reason right there. if there's a brick of cheese sitting on my countertop, it won't be resisted.

we also had a fine meal at one of my favorite small plate restaurants, cesar. two killer mojitos, their own olive-oil packed spicy tuna with egg bocadillo, smoked trout and endive, killer patatas bravas with aioli and spicy tomato sauce, and paella with chorizo. this meat-laden venture cost me a whole weekend of digestive wellbeing.

as a result of my intestinal malady, we stayed in the rest of the time. and because i didn't feel well, i took that as an excuse to eat whatever sounded good. eduardo's spinach fettucini with a good two tablespoons of strauss family organic european style salted butter, salt, pepper and romano cheese. now that's what i call comfort food. probably ran me a good 20-30 points.

as if that wasn't bad enough, we rounded out the visit with colonial donuts and a croissant sandwich on sunday morning. oh, and zachary's that evening. shit. damnit.

so with that disaster behind me, i was going to clean up my act and soldier on. 23 points per day. no more, no less.

right. i had a box of macaroni last night, followed by two handfuls of leftover halloween candy and popcorn. i'm a failure.

on the first day of christmas my true love gave to me, an all-clad 15-piece stainless steel cookware set and free gift with purchase

i've already determined i want a bike this christmas (i'm not six i swear). a really nice biomega bike from dwr. i've also determined that i want a new louis vuitton handbag. and more importantly, i want and need a gym membership to club one. so, although lacking in quantity, my list is pretty full from a monetary standpoint. but, if santa has been eluding us all these years and actually does exist and actually does make dreams come true, i would also like him to make a pit-stop at williams-sonoma and drop the following through my window (no fireplace, sorry).

15-piece all-clad cookware set, stainless steel. because teflon coating gives you cooties.

le crueset 10" grill pan, black. why not all-clad? a) teflon coating. see above. b) i want to work on my biceps. edit: i think the le crueset one has non-stick, too. oh well. i liked the lady at le crueset store in the dub-c. santa should give her some business.

wustof ikon classic 15-piece knife block set.

kitchen aid mixer. in white, i guess. those fucking assholes discontinued the polished chrome model. who do they think they are?

aerogarden indoor garden. so i can grow basil, rosemary and mary jane in my kitchen.

dualit 4-slot toaster.

riedel sommeliers bordeaux and chardonnay glasses.

cuisinart convection breadmaker

a motherfuckin' kegerator. they sell kegerators!?

and finally, that peppermint bark they always sell. dayyyyum!

what i eat when i only have three points left

resist the 100 calorie packs, folks. god knows what they did to those chips ahoys and cheetos to make them so lean.

you'll need:

1 whole wheat tortilla (1 point) - i like trader joe's brand
1 tbsp canned organic tomato paste (0 Points)
1 oz soft goat cheese - from your local farmer! (2 points)
sea salt, pepper and oregano to taste

here's what i do. i put everything on the tortilla, zap it in the microwave for 15-30 seconds. it tastes ok.

here's what i should do. get:

1/8 red onion, peeled and chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 yellow bell pepper, thinly sliced

saute garlic in a small pan with cooking spray until clear and aromatic. add red onion. cook until soft. add peppers. cook until it all looks yummy.

layer tortilla with tomato paste and yummy cooked ingredients. crumble goat cheese over the top, add sea salt and pepper to taste.

bake in the oven on a cookie sheet until cheese is melted and tortilla has some crispness to it. cut into slices and devour. enjoy. wish you had more points. consider eating a string cheese and a spoonful of peanut butter. resist.

yeah. that sounds good.

i'm surprised i haven't started swimming

one of the most glorious aspects of weight watchers is the ability to eat relatively large sums of sushi and not blow all your points. the delectible cuisine tops my list of favorite foods. i could eat it everyday, and i pretty much do. in fact, i think one of the reasons why i've stuck with the w.w. program is because i have not been forced to tone down my raw fish consumption, like i have had to do with my linguine alfredo face-stuffing habit.

there is a fantastic little sushi restaurant called moshi moshi a couple blocks down from my place of work. the joint has excellent fish, a wide variety of creative rolls, and a very impressive menu of vegetarian options. when i was riding the veggie bandwagon i lived for their yummy yam roll - tempura friend yam and avocado. it was always ever-so-slightly toasty, too. fresh out of the deep frier. perfection.

my lunch today consisted of rich, buttery hamachi sashimi (7 pieces - 2 points) and a centipede roll, in which 8 pieces of avocado maki are topped with maguro and tobiko (5 points). my wasabi was molded into a little leaf. precious.

i'm satisfied and energized. 7 points well spent. $30 well spent.

ok, i realize $30 is a bit steep for lunch at work. looks like i'll be dining in the rest of the week.

voila! c'est un petit raton!

in case you were not already aware, the greatest film of all time debuts on dvd today. when i first saw ratatouille, i cried. not only is it visually beautiful (the light! the detail! the rat fur!), but because pixar gets it. they always get it. but with this one, they really get it. i don't think it's possible for people living in lincoln, nebraska (i'm not hating) to be deeply impacted by this film. pixar made it for bay area foodies and french people. ok, maybe new yorkers too. the plating of the foods, the wine pairings, the complex flavors of cheese...and at the heart of it all, the idea that anyone can be a cook. in the beautifully scripted words of one character...

"In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. Last night, I experienced something new, an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto: Anyone can cook. But I realize that only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau's soon, hungry for more."

i'll be at target getting my copy tonight! one might also consider picking up the adorable and delicious ratatouille cookbook for kids, with an introduction by thomas keller. buy it even if you don't have kids!

hi friends.

hello fellow foodies out there in blogland! how goes it. so, this is me. i'm 24, living in oakland with my adorable boyfriend and tiny dog. a native to the east bay, i grew up drinking really good wine and noshing at chez panisse with my totally rad foodie dad. in fact, the name for this blog is a take on my foodie dad's generic name for your average strip mall steakhouse: mr. happy steak (ie, "i was on a business trip in charlotte and had a late night new york strip at mr. happy steak."). i was born into a family of hardcore carnivores, save my mother who hasn't had red meat since seeing jaws in the 70s. i recently came out of an eight month stint as a vegetarian. the transition wasn't so bad initially, and since i converted for moral and ethical reasons, the proper motivation was there. however when i came down with a nasty case of pneumonia in just four short days, i knew i wasn't getting what i needed out of my food to survive.

of course i felt guilty when i decided to return to my carnivorous existence. visions of sentient beings at the slaughter fluttered through my head. but after those first bites of fresh, succulent maguro sashimi - i was home. not only did i feel better physically and mentally, but i was thrilled at the realization that i could revisit my passion for food snobbery. with the principles of slow food at the heart of my epicurian journey, i plan on using this blog as a vehicle to document my return to the land of happy steaks.

oh, but there's a catch. i've also been a not-so-but-sorta dedicated member of weight watchers for about a year. this is my third or fourth (i stopped counting) attempt at the program. it's a great program. it is. but i just can't help myself most of the time. food just tastes so good. i'm currently down 10 lbs, and am about 20 lbs or so away from goal. it's a battle. let's see how i do.